Fostering My Wallace
Ever read something and before you get to the third chapter you start asking yourself: Ok, I've had about enough of this. This can happen even though the book or author you're reading is quite popular and making publishers money. And so, you know how it goes, there's a famous author that you just have to read because you're sick and tired of social events where social butterflies ask, especially when they hear you're a "writer": have you read … ? …
Opening
Members of Das Volk ask me regularly: why do you live in Germany? Usually I don't answer them. Which makes me somewhat of a rude inhabitant. The reason for that is because the answer is very complicated and requires a certain level of historical knowledge. And if I try to explain that to Das Volk then I'm an elitist because they understand Bahnhof. The thing is, it would probably be better if Das Volk has a PHD in History (or anything else) in order to grasp my whole Spiel. …
Tricky Hole
Early morning. Sun coming up. Groggy. I quit drinking coffee and the black tea takes longer to get me going. Quick reddit read woke me, though. Luv Sam Shepard and wish I was in Toronto. Here thoughts churned:
Not afraid to admit it: Spent most of my adult life dreaming. Big mistake there. But then again, the price (I paid) of freedom and independence is a price worth paying. …
A Soul Out Of Glass
Steve Jobs had the balls to get up on a stage a few years back and declare the PC dead. Long live the post-PC. And what did Jobs replace the PC with? Did you know that if you drop an iPad it will shatter into the most expensive piece of useless industrial art you will ever possess? Unless, of course, in tears you call Apple and talk to them about what you broke. Ironically, and über-profitably, Apple replaces what you broke with a refurbished iPad dropped by someone else and thereby swelling their profit margins. …
Instalment 38, Almost Defined: Creativity
There is a (inner) battle to understand creativity. Here and here are attempts at understanding creativity. Below is a recent email exchange with a "friend" that gets a bit into the what-is-creativity thing. Due to the mention of female genitalia, this post (and how many others?) is somewhat NSFW.
Dear Old-Friend,
I spoke to Colleague this morn via Skype. Obviously, due to certain quantities of wine that I aggressively consume on a regular basis, I misunderstood Colleague's recent email where he mentioned you and I should join him this summer in FL for sailing. …
Moon Landing Cap'n Crunch
Update: For those interested in skipping all the worstwriting and getting right to my debunking of conspiracy theories, just scroll down to "Debunking". Also. Since posting this I've come across a wonderful YouTube video by someone who debunks much better than moi. It's at the end of this post. Thank you for your patience.
One thing I'll never forget from this worst-writer journey, dear worst-reader, are the crazies. …
When Banks Ain't Banks
Subtitle: Irony, Government and the consequence of certain sexual activities that might influence politics.
This article is NSFW.
Something startled me recently. The other day I finally realized that I have been paying more and more attention to advertising. Not on TV, mind you. I don't watch TV anymore. Instead, for more than two years, I've been watching nothing but podcasts and various other internet channels. …
Tech Fail Upwards
Good things come with age.
It's true. At the age of … , I finally got my first contracted cell/smart phone. Of course, I used various cell phones when I worked for the man (corpos), and even used a cheap pre-paid cell phone for a while from Aldi. But it took till the summer of 2012 and a bit of über-enthusiasm toward Apple products that my better half decided to splurge and get us both look-a-like iPhone 4Ss. …
Barrel of Fun
Go ahead. Look at the barrel. The barrel is empty. The barrel is rotten. But it wasn’t always so. Look at it again. There was a time when the barrel was full of beautiful, luscious, sweet and tart apples. Yes, once. In fact, there was probably a moment where apples were consumed and the barrels were cleaned and all was renewed and all was good. It didn’t matter if sometimes there were more tart than sweet apples. …
Smarts vs. Sports=London?
Some things just flabbergast me. I mean, these things (or happenings or events) just take me away into a mind's eye of other worlds where I think: gee, (because of the way I see things), am I really this smart or… is the rest of the world so stupid? I know. That's an arrogant thing for an expatriate redneck like me to say (because it is complete and utter BS). But, there are things that motivate me to do and write because my mind's eye ain't the healthiest part of who I am. …
Illusion of (Comic) Truth
It took me a while to get used to it but I eventually came to terms with the fact that it takes a bit longer for movies to get their start in Germany. This delay has to do with the greed of movie distributors and the dumbfounding need of Germans requiring movies to be dubbed. While waiting I gather what I can about movies from critics, blogs and youtube. This is particularly tasty with all the block-busters trying to top one another -- they need exposure more than ever. …
Über Writing
During this morns compulsive news scanning I happened across an article that made my day. It was published in The New York Times on August 20, 2006, and titled "Federer As Religious Experience." In order to protect myself from claims of stereo-typing, banality, or the like, I have resisted titling this post: Wallace As Religious Experience. But keep in mind, this sports article so over-whelmed me that I couldn't put down my iPhone till I completed the umpteen thousand words and then re-read parts of it two or three times. …
Links to Higgs Boson
It was that biology c(o)urse in High School - the one where you cut open a frog and view its perfectly color coded organs - that made me realize I prefer learning about the universe more than biology innards. Besides, by that time I had already gutted numerous deer, fowl, one wild boar and hundreds of squirrels and rabbits, not to mention all the fish we caught. What was a stupid frog gonna show me? …
Cyberwar Rock 'n' Roll
Here's the scenario. It's 1999. I'm working as a PM consultant and our client is (really big tech company). The job is to install a test environment of our software. Our software has been purchased by (really big tech company) because we have something they need in order to complete their massive drive to get on the Internets and be what was then called an e-commerce player. The thing is, as big as this tech company was, like most dinosaurs, they were a bit behind in the whole Internets thing. …
Mirror Mirror On The Wall?
Warning. This post contains plot spoilers.
Broke down and went to the movies yesterday. I don't go to the cinema anymore. Reason? Nothing motivates me to go. And, at my age, it's getting' hard to sit still in the dark for 2hrs. Also. Movie making in general has long since run out of stories to tell. For you see, according to everything worst, the art of writing stories is no longer nurtured. …
In Search of a Quote
Disclaimer: this text is probably NSFW.
Among the many imaginary friends I wish I had, one woke me up this morn when I was trying to locate something I hadn't searched for in a while.
"What are you looking at," he asked.
"The exact location of a famous quote," I said.
"Why," he (or was it she) asked.
"Because I'm tired of it being misquoted and I'm also tired of Believers and nutjob Deists thinking it's their ammunition."
…
Sharks, Barracudas and Banks
The other day during a somewhat intensified news scan to try and understand the 2012 JPMorgan bank scandal, I got to thinking about sharks and barracudas. This was aided when I happened across an article about a German women that was attacked by a shark while on vacation in Florida. Although it seems she will survive the attack, she has lost a large amount of flesh and tissue of the lower part of one of her legs and it will probably end up being amputated. …
They Really Suck, They Really Do Suck
Some might consider it privilege, others elitism. But it's also torture. Since 2010 we are a Apple household. And I want to say upfront: this was not my choice. My better-half has completely fallen over the iPad edge and is now a total "post-pc" user. That is, she doesn't use a personal computer anymore. And that's fine. I don't mind being system administrator for her tablet. …
The Price of Nothingness?
Funny how so much gets lost in translation. Like reality. Every time I think that something can no longer happen to make me shake my head at Eurowasteland, something happens. Recent electoral event in France should be making the whole world shake it's head, especially the Eurowastelanders. Of course, I'm not talking about head-shaking at the election itself. I mean, the former president was specifically proposing the same shit the new president will try to implement. …
Losing Touch With Your Inner National Socialist
Potential Subtitle: Will MILFs save Eurowasteland?
Disclaimer: I never quite finished this post. Part 2 was an attempt to finish it. Oh well. Sometimes, as hard as I fight to maintain them, idears just don't cut it and I have to let them go. This post is the result of not letting them go.
Prelude: There is an urge deep inside me to attempt, however frivolously, to rename Europe. …
Biggest Brother Ever?
Let's begin from the begin(ning), shall we. It started with Big Brother. Then there was Bigger Brother. And now… Excuse me, phone is ringing.
Did all of this spying on citizens (video below) start with a novel? You know the old saying: life emulates art. (Or is it the other way 'round? Nomatter.) There are times when I can feel the pinch of Winston Smith trying to wake me from this (american't) dream. …
Blue Dog Go Home
Major primary losses for conservatives in PA. Oh thank goodness. But wait. These conservatives are Dems. Oh my. Nomatter. Down with conservatives.
Is there good news for anti-conservatives in the future? Not sure. It's been a long time coming but perhaps, even in the state of PA, the wake up call post tea-partier fiasco of 2010 has arrived. But then again… I doubt it. The weirdest thing about the 2012 GOP presidential primary, other than the candidates themselves, has been their positions. …
Tricks
(Text from around 2006.)
Title: The First Couple
Yes, a ghost, a shadow, a female.
Her child and uterus and home of comfort. Shine better than any hotel with a perfect view of Disney World.
Is it the voice of a screaming muttermund or the innocent purity of female-child just before she has to face the sneer of a society built around her every move and gesture and controlling exactly that?
…
Too Complicated?
Historical irony? Maybe. Similarities? Most certainly. But who wants to really get at any truth here? What is clear is that the name of the largest bank that failed and subsequently lead to the Great Depression was…? Got it yet? No? How 'bout...
Bank of United States.
That was then, this is… And now we have...
Bank of America.
Am I the only one getting' the pattern here? Nevermind.
…
Tech Guys Should Just Keep It Techi
Have to call out one of my favorite podcasts. Went on vacation for a few weeks. Didn't take anything that would allow me to connect to the Internets like I do on a daily basis while not on vacation. Vacation is vacation, right? (But I did take my Kindle and read like a madman!) When vacation was over, there was a nerve or two commanding me to get back online. There is an effect of not having heard any tech news for two weeks. …
